Breeze it, buzz it, Weezy does it

Plinky's prompt of the day: 

"OH NO, IT'S A RUMBLE! Quick, put together your ideal gang of street toughs!"

Isabel Sanford
In my world, Isabel "Weezy" Sanford is still alive and ready to rumble. She whipped George Jefferson into place, didn't take guff from the sassy help, and single-handedly ran the Help Center. Who we up against? Sharks? Jets? Dry cleaner convention attendees? Isabel would keep cooly-cool, boy.

Tommy Tune
He's one tall drink of water, and he'll Chicago Box your sweet ass into next Tuesday. Pow!

Joe Pesci
Like a chihuahua bouncing around a bulldog, or a mosquito buzzing in your ear during a company picnic, Pesci would annoy the rival gang to distraction. Then, he'd kneecap them and get sausage and peppers for the whole crew. Bust cool!

Click, but be warned without malice of fun that awaits!

This site makes me laugh like an insane woman.

see more Engrish

New parents! Old parents! Hear Ye!

21 Months is a no-nonsense resource for new parents, focusing on pregnancy and the first year of life.

New articles on 21 Months:

• Stop morning sickness with ginger
  
• Prevent stretch marks: time-honored techniques & cutting-edge products
  
• Banking your baby's cord blood? Check out the bottom-line prices for all the major cord blood banks.
  
• Concerned about post-partum depression? Omega-3 foods may ease the symptoms.
  

Also, my series about raising kids who love vegetables continues on Suite 101.

• Everyday Changes Create Vegetable-Loving Kids
• Healthy Food Games For Kids
• Participation Turns Kids Into Vegetable Eaters
• Basics of Raising Vegetable Loving Children
  

Bea Arthur's Finest Moment

No, I'm not over Bea Arthur's death just yet, thanks for asking.

Here's the infamous Cantina Scene from the deliciously disastrous Star Wars Holiday Special of 1978.  Enjoy the sizzling chemistry between dainty Bea and super-butch Harvey Korman.

The New, Sad Math: Meg Ryan Edition

"Special" Agent Oso

Oy. Over the weekend, my daughter and I fell prey to the Disney Advertising Juggernaut (or "Dajjie, Your New Best Friend" as they call it).  We watched the heavily-promoted, yet slapped-together show, "Special Agent Oso (The Unique Stuffed Bear)".

Yikes!  And here's why:

• He looks and feels like a latter-day Mickey Rooney.
• The animation rouses nostalgia for Dire Straits' Money For Nothing video.
  
• The constantly befuddled Oso retains information for approximately as long as a summer sidewalk retains water marks.

My 4-year-old summed up Oso's pity-inducing ineptitude thusly: "Why is he allowed to go out by himself and fly around like an adult, but he only understands things that a baby understands?"  Indeed.

When you compete with the likes of DJ Lance Rock, Candy Land, and pipe cleaner art, you'd best be bringing your A-game, flighty stuffed bear.

We're O-So over this show.

Waylon Jennings & Madame

Intermittently, I get the phrase "Waylon Jennings & Madame" stuck in my head.  With all respect for the dear departed Wayland Flowers, I do believe that Hoss and Madame make a spectacular team.

Here they are with Lady Bunny.

Fun Fact: Madame was buried alive with Wayland Flowers in 1988!  The Serpent and the Rainbow Flag.

CAN'T GET ENOUGH MADAME?  Queeny puppet reverie awaits ...

• Official Madame Site: My childhood nightmare realized in Flash.
  
• Madame's MySpace page (e-sassy!) 
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Haiku for 1990

Shirt buttoned to top.

How shall I accessorize?

Bolo tie or brooch?

Haiku for a Guido in Point Pleasant

You smell like Drakkar.

Ocean breeze...hair immobile.

What the...? Waxed eyebrows?

Haiku for 1999

Sipping Absolut

Waiting for Queer Duck to load

At 28k

And then there's blog.

Bea Arthur is dead.  As the old saying goes, when one soul dies, another blog is born.

And so, I dedicate my first entry to Maude... Tuckahoe's most outspoken broad!  The one who tried to pass off oregano as marijuana...who sauced around like a lady of half her height and breadth when a telethon or community show required her services...who never backed down from a fight with her lilliputian 17th husband Walter.

As you can see from this picture, she's urging me on with a "Gooooooo, girl" from beyond the grave.  Thanks, Bea!  I will.