Sunday, May 10, 2009

TrendTrition: Grapples, fruit with low self-esteem!


Last week, my husband grabbed apples from the grocery store for his office stash.  As they sat on the counter, I noticed a distinctive faux-grape aroma wafting from ... did Mark start wearing Bonnie Bell lip gloss again?  Snork!  It's the apples.  Or rather...



...GRAPPLES!

Anytime you see an ingredients list on a package of apples, run to the farmers' market and hug your local farmer and maybe roll around on the produce in a fit of kitty-in-a-field-of-catnip ecstasy.

This isn't the result of the Future Farmers of America field trip to the Island of Dr. Moreau.  It's straight-up injection infusion into the apple of "natural and artificial grape flavors", which is like Spanx or collagen injections for produce with a wonky super-ego.

Check it: the anthropomorphized Grapples look freaking thrilled to not be themselves anymore.  Much like makeover winners with lots of rejection issues, Grapples virtually cry out "Eat me!"

But, I think they're the laughing-on-the-outside/crying-on-the-inside kind of fruit, so I won't.

Coming soon: blueberries that taste like gravy.

11 comments:

  1. But they actually arent that bad. I get them periodicly when I see them, because I love grape, and like the crunch of apples. We dont get good golden delicious or granny smiths, which are the only apples I like eating as is.

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  2. Actually, they don't inject them, the run them thru a water bath and the flavor is the only thing that gets infused in them.

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  3. Okay, I stand corrected. The artificial grape flavor isn't injected, but infused into the apple. So, they take a completely healthy, natural apple and infuse it with artificial grape flavor. Much better.

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  4. And the majority of the flavoring isn't artificial...

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  5. Ah hah, oh wow, America. How about vegetables that taste like beef aimed for vegetarians. Apples infused in slaughter blood etc.

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  6. I just came across grapples yesterday, and I must say they are quite yummy :)
    But I was expecting them to taste like a real grape..they taste like artificial grape flavouring, you know what I mean?

    Still good though :)

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  7. I had one, it was fun to eat and yummy. They are expensive though, so I think this was a one time treat for me! Can get the same taste by drinking grape juice while eating an apple, for half the cost!

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  8. Where can you get these blueberries? This is the only web-hit when searching for blueberries that taste like gravy. Do you have to pre-order them somewhere? Funny about the apples though. Never thought they could cross-breed them like that.

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  9. You guys are funny.

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  10. So many skeptics! Gravy flavored blueberries is a bit of a stretch, at least grapes and apples are both fruits! That's like saying President Obama is Portugese...

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  11. They are infused with artificial grape flavor (called methyl anthranilate) that is used as a non-lethal chemical bird repellent.

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