Dear Alex & Annie...

I'm desperate! What should I do? In these troubled times, our nation could use a hit of Dear Alex & Annie. Not a child of the 70's? Didn't watch upwards of 6 hours of television each Saturday before hitting the pool? It is my honor to school you in the ways of Double A.

CLIFF'S NOTES:

Two youngish summer-stockers looking for work come upon an ad:

Noted specialist in child psychology needs unthreatening, kind of telegenic hosts to serve as mouthpieces to improve shabby pre-teen lives through laughter and song. Ability to shoot real sincere glances at the camera a must.

Thousands would enter. Two would win.

Beginning at approximately 57 seconds into the clip, you'll discover the inspiration for Disney's smash hit "The Princess & The Frog". From acorns, my friends. From acorns.

And they get as good as they give! "That's not very 'riginal," Annie chides Alex when he attempts to form his own thoughts. Proving that what's good for pre-teen geese is good for the gander.

Oh, Dear Alex & Annie,

We need you more than ever!

Americans need your pat advice,

All animated and clever.

So, tie on that bandana!

Buy some mousse! Blow dry!

Flat-chested girls across our land

Need your help to land a guy.